Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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