I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
