Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize