Someone shit on the floor
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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