We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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