I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
