Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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