My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
