did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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