I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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