Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
