please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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