you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize