Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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