no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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