She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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