Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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