there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
