The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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