I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
