I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
