Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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