Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
