what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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