hotel room ftw
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
