Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
They have beer where we have blood.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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