I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
