playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
