I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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