A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
