Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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