if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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