drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
