I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
