I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
When did angry sex become our thing?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How does one acquire holy water?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
