Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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