you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
