remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
