I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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