Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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