So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
