Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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