So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize