Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
