All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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