Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
