So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
