at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I believe in your delicious
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
