It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
