Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
