after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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