Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
