Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
