we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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