is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
