sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
