Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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