Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
