i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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