And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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