i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
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If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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