And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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