It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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