and you said cock pushups were impossible
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
